Whole Brain Child techniques you can use today

Dr Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson's Whole Brain Child is one of the most-recommended parenting books for a reason: it explains why kids melt down and gives you tools that work in the moment.

Here are the techniques worth memorising.

1. "Name it to tame it"

When your child is in a big feeling, name the feeling. Naming it engages the language centres of the brain and quiets the alarm system.

• "You wanted the red cup. That's really disappointing."
• "That felt scary."
• "You worked so hard on that and it broke. Argh."

Say it once. Don't fix. Don't over-explain.

2. "Connect and redirect"

Connect to the right brain (emotional) before redirecting with the left brain (logical). Skip step one and you'll get a screaming child who won't hear a word.

• Hug, get low, match their eye level.
• Then, and only then, offer a solution or limit.

3. "Engage, don't enrage"

Choose responses that engage your child's thinking brain. Ask a question instead of giving a command:

• "What do you need next — brushing or pyjamas?"
• "Where do the shoes go?"

Command → resistance. Question → agency.

4. "Use it or lose it"

Skills grow with practice. Give your child chances to solve, decide, and repair — even when it takes longer. A 4-year-old who chooses their outfit will one day be a 14-year-old who makes their own lunch.

5. "Move it or lose it"

When emotions are stuck, move the body. Star jumps, a run around the garden, a dance break. Movement resets the nervous system.

6. "SIFT" for older kids

Ask them to notice Sensations, Images, Feelings, Thoughts. Great for anxious kids over 6.

7. Remember: integration, not perfection

Whole Brain Child's goal isn't a perfectly behaved child. It's a child whose upstairs (thinking) and downstairs (emotional) brain talk to each other more and more over time. Every calm response you give is a rep.

Try it in your next moment

AskJunie's parenting app uses Whole Brain Child alongside 5 other frameworks. Describe your moment, get a technique tailored to it.